The Matrix

It’s amazing how I spent the first 95% of 2018 losing my mind in the echo chamber of everyone else’s thoughts, musings, ideals, and surface-level interactions.

Then I unplugged at the start of December and began learning what my own voice sounded like again. And all that needless noise just STOPPED.

Fuck living in the matrix, man.

You keep running and running and stumbling forward with the momentum of every swipe and like and dopamine-inducing check of your in-app notifications and before you know it you’ve traveled miles down a road into a seemingly endless valley full of funhouse mirrors where everything is not really what it seems and people who “miss you and your energy” will be good without you since you haven’t actually seen these people’s faces for the entirety of the calendar year and it’s okay because AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE BUT YOUR FUCKIN’ SELF, KID.

What am I looking towards in 2019?

2019 will be spent reintroducing myself to myself.

And learning what the hell I even like again.

Like a spaceman returning to Earth after 20-some years lost in a vast intergalactic masquerade party where time not only progressed and but also stood still. Or like Encino Man emerging from the ice and discovering the joy of burritos.

This happiness will not be created by anyone other than me. And I will not own the weight of anyone’s journey other than my own.

Head up, Air Maxes laced, shoulders back, hope renewed.


Author: Abraham Beltran

Drop knowledge not names.

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